Archive for I heart you

love drunk. i love you ma.

yesterday was memorable.

I wanted to talk to HIM before I leave the office but I know it won’t do me any good. I’ll just let him hug me and kiss me and tell me he misses me. I can already see how we’ll look like. I’ll just let him do all those things even if its not the right thing to do, I miss him that much.

I refused to talk to him and left the office with my officemates, off we went somewhere in Metro walk to celebrate my friend’s birthday. overflowing shots of Tequila, beer and gin tonic. I don’t really drink. 1 or two shots of Tequila and I’m good. even though I always say that it’s “bitin” , but that’s just me loving the effect. but yesterday, that was more than 10 shots of Tequila, just one bottle of beer and I think 7 shots of gin tonic. and even then I didn’t cry. I just sat next to JM, lay my head on his shoulder then slept. we left the place after 5 hours and went to Mia’s place ( I can’t go home drunk so they decided to take us somewhere else). I want to thank her family especially her mom for letting us stay in their house. and to all of my office friends for taking care of me and Ethel. Ethel is my long lost sister. haha. we were both drunk yesterday and we’re both thankful to our friends, for taking care of us and staying with us for the whole 24 hours even if their own families were already looking for them.

I called my mom at 12pm saying I can’t go home because I need to stay where I am and sleep. her voice sounded angry but more worried, but she just answered “okay sige, magpahinga ka na. mag ingat ha. love you”. I woke up 6pm that night, had dinner with Mia’s family and office friends, called my mom at 7pm,  I said I’m on my home. we left Mia’s place at 9pm. I was home 10:30 pm. the moment I stepped inside our house, I can hear my mom talking to my aunt upstairs. when she saw me, she just burst into tears and hugged me. she was so worried. I felt so guilty, she hugged me so tight while telling me “wag mo ng uulitin yun ha”. she just cant stop crying and all I can do is hug her back, cry and say sorry. we were hugging each other for more than 30 minutes and my mom was crying the whole time. I felt really bad. I never saw my mom cry that way. she always hug me but not that tight like she doesn’t want to let go. she was really really worried. I’m such a bad girl for making her feel that way. I told her I don’t feel well and that I want to take a bath. she took me to the bathroom and and helped me take a bath. she didn’t say anything. she helped me put on my PJs and waited in my room til I fell asleep. I said sorry one last time before I finally closed my eyes and I felt her lips on my forehead then I was out. and I thought those scenes only happen in the movies.

Nothing really is more divine than a mother’s love. that’s why I love mine so much and I loved her gazillion times more last night.

HANG OVER though hasn’t left me yet. I feel so lutang. like literally.

but the worst thing that happened yesterday was.. I wasn’t able to get back my phone from JM, so… I won’t have it back til Saturday night. so now what?

NP: Passenger’s Seat – Stephen Speaks

 

I’ve got all that I need, right here in the passenger seat…

 

Mixed feelings. Mixed emotions.

everyday’s the same.  Happy-Sad-Confused-Happy-Sad-Confused-repeat

well, I’m not complaining :)

 

_________________________________________________

I’ve been trying to move on with my life, and I can say, I’ve been able to walk few little steps. I’m proud of it. but there are pit stops, and every pit stop there’s him. a little bit of him. and those little pieces STILL keep me holding on. I think I can never forget him. I can never go on without him, he’ll always be there.

he’ll always be one ray of my sun, one drop of my rain

one beat of my heart, one strand of my hair


maybe I’ll love again but I don’t think his place will ever be taken. even the most dashing guy in white polo can’t make him go away.

you know that great feeling when you’re inlove and that special person loves you back? I am feeling it now, even without his presence, even without his words, even if I know he still loves her, even if it’s a case of “ME for YOU against the world” , I STILL FEEL IT.

I am not being pathetic, maybe I’m starting to accept what it really is. and I’m proud to have experienced this kind of love. it feels so pure and sacred. that even it caused too much pain, and even if it’s not perfect, it still feels perfect and never a drop of regret.

LOVE.

hwever far away I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU…

“watching the meteor shower alone isn’t so bad,especially when I was thinking about you the whole time and how we’re looking at the same sky”

this night was lonely like most of my weeknights, but this particular weeknight was pleasantly lonely. I realized I miss him SO MUCH already. He hasn’t called me in days, but maybe something came up, or something comes up everyday :| whatever. that’s not the point. my point is.. I still has it. IT still makes me happy. you know what they say “the reason why you smile is the same reason why you cry” or something like that :D

bakit kaya ganon?

di ko maexplain yung feeling. malungkot na weird na ewan…

hindi ko sya nami-miss pero gusto ko na siya makausap, makita..

nakaka-iyak.

emo thoughts for the night

I have always wondered how it would feel if we were standing on the same soil, sometimes when my imagination goes on for another mile I also wonder how good it’d be if we were standing next to each other.

and if my mind wanders even more I would hope that someday MY dreams would become OUR reality.

I would wish to see you leave the house for work, to see you kiss that little boy goodbye, to hear you whisper a name sealed by a sweet hug, to see you looking through the mirror of my soul, then it couldn’t feel any better.

but for tonight I only wish for one thing…

I wish we could share the same bed to sleep on and continue dreaming our soon-to-be-reached dreams :)

cuddling is also acceptable

cuddling is also acceptable

NOSTALGIA.

Campus Radio era OPM songs + conference with high school buddies + random get together pictures = NOSTALGIA

I remember the story that I wrote way back in high school, that little drama, “story of us”. reading it now makes me smile. the grammatical errors that I committed reminds me how innocent I was, the words I used prove how young I was – I saw everything as simple as the words that I used.
haven’t change much though. sometimes we think that a lot has changed, but not really. we still go back into the same place. it’s like were stuck in 2005. still wearing that little checkered supposed A-line skirt, neckties, playing outside the now banished LICSfood.eating street foods, etsetera. I still see them in that state. maybe its just me but I can’t seem to get out of that bubble.

nostalgia. with them I take nostalgia as a good thing. :)

I wish more years of nostalgia. and more years with them ^__^

shouts *sobrang muussshhhhy*

hahahaha!

I love you friends <3

free hugs for sale!!! eh? hahaha~

Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again…

it still haunts me.. and it wasn’t until last night that I confirmed my status. thanks to a friend I realized that, yes, I have already moved on, unfortunately not yet ready to let go.(as per koya yan. haha)

but, despite all that, I feel that its unfair to wallow in sadness when you’re blessed with wonderful friends. Super friends indeed! and that’s why I am grateful that before I learn about the *bad news* I was pretty much feeling so loved up that it was easy to get over with (or akala ko lang. haha).

the week before, nakipag bonding na ko with my plurk friends at Mimailabs’ party. then the following days of the week, Chiena and Nosie kept me company over tons of McDonald’s cheeseburgers. :D plus! the bonding over ice cream with e2 on DOOM’s day ^^

then just last night, I get to hang out with my plurk friends again and with my long lost brothers and sisters from herpeace. weee~ I really miss them. so much ^^ lalo na si Dah. haha~ and so I spent the night giving away free hugs :) oooh and I miss going to gigs. ^____^

plus I’m expecting a grand bonding with doodles next weekend! our favorite bonding over Gael films. hihi~ and lots of food please!

with such wonderful people, how can I stay sad? even though the pain lingers, waiting for me to be alone so that it could suck all the happiness in me, I stay fine. I stay good actually.

lonely nights are unavoidable, but with the help of my family and friends I know I can manage. and I stay happy despite the pain inside.

I love you friends. really <3

and I’d be giving free hugs to everyone from now on~!!!

High school days oh my high school days <3

LICS. high school days. =)

LICS. high school days. =)

The family that swims together, stays together.

I <3 them

I <3 them

Ninja call days~

Ninja call days <3

Ninja call days <3

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