let’s get it on.

{ May 3, 2010 @ 3:23 am } · { Uncategorized }

I realized that I changed. can I say drastically? I think so.

from being mataray and sensitive, I morphed into this girl who doesn’t care. like if you say something bad about me, I’ll just shrug it off. I won’t care anymore, I know the truth by the way. If I were my old self, all of those girls in the office who keeps talking shit behind my back had already seen how I am when I get really angry. I’m not the kind who makes a scene, but I am not the kind who just keeps quiet either.

but the change that happened to me is more than that really. the way I see things and make decisions changed as well. even the way I live my life. I don’t even read books and watch movies now but that’s another thing, its not that I don’t want to read or watch, its just that I dont have time. but going back, the changes that happened to me might be because of A, or maybe not.

I was thinking, maybe I didn’t changed because I met him, maybe I met him because I changed. maybe I changed because S left. maybe because I am out of school, or maybe I changed just because I am supposed to.

one good thing about what happened is that I became a little more happy. my life makes more sense now, and I feel more mature. hence, the change from being bitchy to not caring what other people say. however, people around me is pulling me back to how I was before. it might be a negative thing, but really, I also like how I was before, I feel strong and independent. I know I can say anything before. now, I always think before I act or talk and sometimes my mind just tells me to shut up and let them say what they want to say about me, even when they’re way out of line. these past few days though, A’s helping me redeem myself. he’s being more natural around which makes me feel more natural too. so maybe I’m getting the hang of him now, which makes me mfeel more comfortable, so yeah maybe I was being nice because of him, maybe not. but whatever, I think its about time that they realize that I’m not all nicey and friendly. Paula is so not friendly at all. and I bitch all the time. so maybe I should let them see that side.

especially those girls who keeps talking nonsense behind my back.

I’ll give them a few more days, then if they continue, I’ll give them what they want.

I can’t believe Im hoping they dont stop. Im excited